The edge of the universe

Paneling. Not just a single layer either, but layers and layers of rich wood paneling. The really cool thing about God is that the wood is bent in a spherical fashion, kind of like if you steamed it and worked it in a fixture. Moreover, it is moving away from us at the speed of light. That is what my higher power tells me anyhow. So I had to ask my friend what he thought was at the end of the universe. I must admit, his answer might be better than mine. “Walmart” was all he said.

I am pretty sure that was an off the cuff answer. So I still have to stick to my answer. You see the omnivorous and magical Speedy Lube Oil Change Team in the sky, which I refer to as God, tells me so. You see I lied in bed at an early age wondering and pondering such deep thoughts as to what is at the edge of the universe. I also had this recurring nightmare about some dark figure going down the basement stairs. But that is another story. This all leads me though to find real answers to practical problems.

The problem we sometimes deal with is the Suwanee Georgia outdoor watering ban. First, I have to make sure my system is winterized, to prevent broken pipes from wasting a lot of water. Second, I want to trap rainwater from my Gutters and recycle it through my sprinkler system.  In Europe, they are making black holes with the Cern Large Hadron Collider, but in Georgia, despite it’s long Ocean coast line we are out of water.  So my plan is to build a Nuclear Reactor and Desalinization plant Near Savannah, and pump fresh water 1000′ feet uphill to Lake Lanier.  We could do it for the price of a couple of new sports stadiums and a Marta.  But back to the edge of the universe.

One might pose the question, why have we know proof of this wood paneling?  The furthest light we have detected runs about eleven and a half billion light years distant.  Plus, if this is a dark wood paneling, stained as I imagine it, ot wouldn’t emit much light.






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